Lots of unmet dependencies while updating Python

It was suggested that I uninstall and reinstall Python, so I deleted every directed labeled python until 'which python' and 'which python3.4' didn't show anything. Then I did

apt-get remove python

When I try to re-install python, I get the following error:

/var/lib/dpkg/info/update-notifier-common.postinst: 25: /var/lib/dpkg/info/update-notifier-common.postinst: /usr/lib/update-notifier/package-data-downloader: not found
dpkg: error processing package update-notifier-common (--configure):
 subprocess installed post-installation script returned error exit status 127
Setting up anki (2.0.20+dfsg-2) ...
/var/lib/dpkg/info/anki.postinst: 6: /var/lib/dpkg/info/anki.postinst: pycompile: not found
dpkg: error processing package anki (--configure):
 subprocess installed post-installation script returned error exit status 127
Setting up apt-xapian-index (0.45ubuntu4) ...
/var/lib/dpkg/info/apt-xapian-index.postinst: 6: /var/lib/dpkg/info/apt-xapian-index.postinst: pycompile: not found
dpkg: error processing package apt-xapian-index (--configure):
 subprocess installed post-installation script returned error exit status 127
Setting up gconf2 (3.2.6-0ubuntu2) ...
/var/lib/dpkg/info/gconf2.postinst: 81: /var/lib/dpkg/info/gconf2.postinst: gconf-schemas: not found
No apport report written because MaxReports is reached already
                                                              No apport report written because MaxReports is reached already
                                            dpkg: error processing package gconf2 (--configure):
 subprocess installed post-installation script returned error exit status 127
dpkg: dependency problems prevent configuration of apturl:
 apturl depends on gconf2 (>= 2.28.1-2); however:
  Package gconf2 is not configured yet.

dpkg: error processing package apturl (--configure):
 dependency problems - leaving unconfigured
Setting up deluge-common (1.3.6-0ubuntu3) ...
/var/lib/dpkg/info/deluge-common.postinst: 6: /var/lib/dpkg/info/deluge-common.postinst: pycompile: not found
dpkg: error processing package deluge-common (--configure):
 subprocess installed post-installation script returned error exit status 127
No apport report written because MaxReports is reached already
                                                              dpkg: dependency problems prevent configuration of deluge-gtk:
 deluge-gtk depends on deluge-common (= 1.3.6-0ubuntu3); however:
  Package deluge-common is not configured yet.

dpkg: error processing package deluge-gtk (--configure):
 dependency problems - leaving unconfigured
No apport report written because MaxReports is reached already
                                                              Setting up duplicity (0.6.23-1ubuntu4.1) ...
/var/lib/dpkg/info/duplicity.postinst: 6: /var/lib/dpkg/info/duplicity.postinst: pycompile: not found
No apport report written because MaxReports is reached already
                                                              dpkg: error processing package duplicity (--configure):
 subprocess installed post-installation script returned error exit status 127
Setting up fahcontrol (7.3.6-1) ...
/var/lib/dpkg/info/fahcontrol.postinst: 5: /var/lib/dpkg/info/fahcontrol.postinst: update-python-modules: not found
No apport report written because MaxReports is reached already
                                                              dpkg: error processing package fahcontrol (--configure):
 subprocess installed post-installation script returned error exit status 127
Setting up fluxgui (1.1.8) ...
/var/lib/dpkg/info/fluxgui.postinst: 5: /var/lib/dpkg/info/fluxgui.postinst: update-python-modules: not found
No apport report written because MaxReports is reached already
                                                              dpkg: error processing package fluxgui (--configure):
 subprocess installed post-installation script returned error exit status 127
Setting up gedit (3.10.4-0ubuntu4) ...
/var/lib/dpkg/info/gedit.postinst: 37: /var/lib/dpkg/info/gedit.postinst: py3compile: not found
dpkg: error processing package gedit (--configure):
 subprocess installed post-installation script returned error exit status 127
Setting up gimp (2.8.10-0ubuntu1) ...
No apport report written because MaxReports is reached already
                                                              /var/lib/dpkg/info/gimp.postinst: 11: /var/lib/dpkg/info/gimp.postinst: pycompile: not found
No apport report written because MaxReports is reached already
                                                              dpkg: error processing package gimp (--configure):
 subprocess installed post-installation script returned error exit status 127
Setting up python3-plainbox (0.5.3-2) ...
/var/lib/dpkg/info/python3-plainbox.postinst: 6: /var/lib/dpkg/info/python3-plainbox.postinst: py3compile: not found
No apport report written because MaxReports is reached already
                                                              dpkg: error processing package python3-plainbox (--configure):
 subprocess installed post-installation script returned error exit status 127
Setting up python3-urllib3 (1.7.1-1build1) ...
/var/lib/dpkg/info/python3-urllib3.postinst: 6: /var/lib/dpkg/info/python3-urllib3.postinst: py3compile: not found
dpkg: error processing package python3-urllib3 (--configure):
 subprocess installed post-installation script returned error exit status 127
dpkg: dependency problems prevent configuration of python3-requests:
 python3-requests depends on python3-urllib3 (>= 1.5); however:
  Package python3-urllib3 is not configured yet.

dpkg: error processing package python3-requests (--configure):
 dependency problems - leaving unconfigured
dpkg: dependency problems prevent configuration of python3-checkbox-ng:
 python3-checkbox-ng depends on python3-plainbox (>= 0.5.3); however:
  Package python3-plainbox is not configured yet.
 python3-checkbox-ng depends on python3-requests (>= 1.0); however:
  Package python3-requests is not configured yet.

dpkg: error processing package python3-checkbox-ng (--configure):
 dependency problems - leaving unconfigured
No apport report written because MaxReports is reached already
                                                              No apport report written because MaxReports is reached already
                                            No apport report written because MaxReports is reached already
                          Errors were encountered while processing:
 update-notifier-common
 anki
 apt-xapian-index
 gconf2
 apturl
 deluge-common
 deluge-gtk
 duplicity
 fahcontrol
 fluxgui
 gedit
 gimp
 python3-plainbox
 python3-urllib3
 python3-requests
 python3-checkbox-ng
E: Sub-process /usr/bin/dpkg returned an error code (1)

A common suggestion is 'apt-get install -f'. This yields something very similar. I've linked the pastebin here to save room: http://ift.tt/1B4uguM

I'm not sure where to go from here.